I mean really – what was I thinking?? It has happened to me many times, but this was a BIG one. I worked on my book on and off for over 15 years. Two years ago, I got serious about getting it published. Six months ago, it was starting to look like it was really happening. Now the website is live. I’m on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I even have copies to give to close friends – BUT then I froze! I had been working so hard to get the book out that I forgot.

I forgot that I had put a big chunk of my life in words that other could read. I could no longer pretend that I was anything other than the person I was sharing with the world. I couldn’t hide anymore! I would be known. What was I thinking??

As long as I kept the writing to myself, I realized I felt safe. It isn’t so much that I worry that other won’t like my book, it’s more that it’s me, the me I have always known but never fully shared. I could cover over so many parts of me. My creativity was more a secret.

Of course, there is a story behind it all. When I was 6-7 years old, I made a flower Easter hat out of daffodils and won a prize at the town park. I had asked to cut the flowers from our yard and Mom had said yes, only to find out later that I had cut the wrong daffodils – my father’s prized ones that of course I had no idea that they were special. When I came home with the prize, my father acknowledged my prize but then yelled at me about the daffodils. The little girl I was learned that being creative was punishable.

So, when the book went live, that little girl in me freaked out! It has taken some weeks to hold her hand and let her know that – that was then and not now. I reached out for support. I let her be with the fear and yet I went ahead. I am creative, it’s ok to be known for who I really am inside. In fact, I want to be known. Being known is really what life is about. Yes, it’s risky but not taking the chance to be know is much worst. What was I thinking? I wanted to share and let others know me – and that I have done.